This past summer and fall, I really struggled with whether
or not God wanted me to continue attending our church. For whatever reason, I
was no longer connecting with others. I
didn’t feel like I was benefitting from services. I was disappointed and hurt by other members.
I didn’t see my kids growing spiritually. My list of reasons for looking for
another church continued to grow, reasons that were valid and justifiable.
The journey was painful.
As I prayerfully and sincerely sought God’s will, I experienced not the
joyful resolution and peace that I so desperately desired, but a surge of
discouragement and doubt and frustration as God revealed to me my true
character and ultimately, broke me. Today, I know I am where God wanted me. I
decided to stay.
God used His words and His people to help me arrive at my
decision.
Through His word, God reminded me that I had value, that I
was created with a purpose, that He has good plans for my life, that I am a
part of the body of Christ, that I was made to serve and bring glory to God,
that I was designed to worship God.
Through His people, God reminded me of how the church had
been there for me in former times of need, that life isn’t just about me, that
I am part of the body of Christ that is incomplete and inefficient without my
personal contribution, that my perceived needs may not be in line with God’s
word, that the purpose of church attendance is worshipping God.
God used this experience to speak directly to the depths of
my heart and soul, a place barricaded by hurt and disappointment, a place
formerly impenetrable.
I realized that the act of change is not above the Agent of
Change. I wanted change. I was seeking
transformation. But what I needed was
God Himself.
God’s truths are applicable to time and circumstance outside
of my own experience. Maybe some of the
lessons I learned on my journey will be an encouragement to you as well.
The process I underwent can best be summarized with three
powerful words: Remember, Realign and React.
REMEMBER
“To recall to the mind (with effort or determination); think of again;
to retain in the mind; keep carefully in memory; to keep someone in mind as
worthy of affection or recognition”
- The American Heritage
Dictionary
Psalm 77
10 And I said, “This is my fate;
the Most High has turned his hand against me.”
11 But then I recall all you have done, O Lord;
I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
12 They are constantly in my thoughts.
I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.
the Most High has turned his hand against me.”
11 But then I recall all you have done, O Lord;
I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
12 They are constantly in my thoughts.
I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.
As David did long before, I recalled the forgotten
past goodness of the Lord and His people to me.
Isaiah 46
8 “Do not forget this! Keep it in mind!
Remember this, you guilty ones.
9 Remember the things I have done in the past.
For I alone am God!
I am God, and there is none like me.
10 Only I can tell you the future
before it even happens.
Everything I plan will come to pass,
for I do whatever I wish.
Remember this, you guilty ones.
9 Remember the things I have done in the past.
For I alone am God!
I am God, and there is none like me.
10 Only I can tell you the future
before it even happens.
Everything I plan will come to pass,
for I do whatever I wish.
I recounted stories of God’s faithfulness to me and to others. I
remembered what it was that so attracted me to God, His word and His people when
I chose to submit to Him so many years ago.
Psalm
111
1 Praise the Lord! I will thank the Lord
with all my heart
as I meet with his godly people.
2 How amazing are the deeds of the Lord!
All who delight in him should ponder them.
3 Everything he does reveals his glory and majesty.
His righteousness never fails.
4 He causes us to remember his wonderful works.
How gracious and merciful is our Lord!
5 He gives food to those who fear him;
he always remembers his covenant.
6 He has shown his great power to his people
by giving them the lands of other nations.
7 All he does is just and good,
and all his commandments are trustworthy.
8 They are forever true,
to be obeyed faithfully and with integrity.
9 He has paid a full ransom for his people.
He has guaranteed his covenant with them forever.
What a holy, awe-inspiring name he has!
10 Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom.
All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom.
as I meet with his godly people.
2 How amazing are the deeds of the Lord!
All who delight in him should ponder them.
3 Everything he does reveals his glory and majesty.
His righteousness never fails.
4 He causes us to remember his wonderful works.
How gracious and merciful is our Lord!
5 He gives food to those who fear him;
he always remembers his covenant.
6 He has shown his great power to his people
by giving them the lands of other nations.
7 All he does is just and good,
and all his commandments are trustworthy.
8 They are forever true,
to be obeyed faithfully and with integrity.
9 He has paid a full ransom for his people.
He has guaranteed his covenant with them forever.
What a holy, awe-inspiring name he has!
10 Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom.
All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom.
Praise him forever!
Those
remembrances were reality based. But what about my feelings? My perceptions? Were they accurate? Did
they have a place in the life of one who truly desired to please God? Honest
consideration of those questions helped me to realize several nasty truths
about myself. Confronted with the truth, I had to choose what to do with it.
REALIGN
“To put back into proper order or condition” - The American Heritage
Dictionary
God showed me that my feelings and expectations were not in line with
His truth.
and banish the very thought of doing wrong.
Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them.
Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
I confessed my pride, my self-centeredness, my anger as well as my
desire to please God in my being, my actions, my thought life. As a plumb determines depth and establishes a
true vertical, my God realigned my thinking.
REACT
“To act in response to a stimulus or prompting; to act in opposition to
some former condition or act;
to undergo chemical change” - The
American Heritage Dictionary
God’s promptings through His word and others prompted me to take
decisive action to seek Him and His truth above all other people and things,
both tangible and inanimate. I needed God’s help to let go of those
distractions from the truth: anger, pain, self-pity, perceived needs. I had to
allow God to be my Agent of Change. I am not what I once was. I am a new person
of God.
As Paul says in Galatians 6:
14 As for me, may I never boast about
anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my
interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also
died. 15 It doesn’t matter whether we have
been circumcised or not. What counts is
whether we have been transformed into a new creation. 16 May
God’s peace and mercy be upon all who live by this principle; they are the new
people of God.
2 Corinthians 5
16 So from now on we regard no one from a
worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no
longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in
Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is
here! 18 All this is from God, who
reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of
reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling
the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he
has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20
We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his
appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.
21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for
us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
I thought my problem was the church.
God showed me that the problem was me. The one thing within my control
fought instead to control everyone and everything else while denying personal
responsibility.
Ephesians
6:11-13
11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand
firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting
against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the
unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil
spirits in the heavenly places.13 Therefore, put on every piece of
God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then
after the battle you will still be standing firm.
In allowing God to do some personal repairs and upgrades in
my life, I received some unexpected, but welcomed benefits: relationships
flourished, needs diminished, attitude uplifted, hope restored. My
circumstances didn’t change. My church didn’t change. The only thing that changed was me.
Perhaps God wishes to invite you on a similar journey. I encourage you to consider the following:
Do you remember why you fell in love with your Savior? When is the last time that you recalled those
precious moments when God met a need, showed mercy or rescued you?
Do you need to realign your thinking to God’s truths? Have you been deceived by feelings and perceived
needs?
Will you react with all that is within you to God's truth? Do you need to make God your Agent of Change?
All scripture quoted from NLT via biblegateway.com
